So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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