I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it hurts more in the daytime
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
