Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
