she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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