dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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