Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think my moral compass just broke
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
