He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
