i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
