It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
