Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Randomize
