Me. At least after what I've been through.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
