Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize