we have pet lesbian snakes
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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