you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
