I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
