Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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