no, he came in my armpit
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
