Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
