And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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