Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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