If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Damn victory sex feels great
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize