I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
