He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
