They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
