He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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