she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
