Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
