i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
