he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
