OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
