Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
