Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
