i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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