I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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