you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
