This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
