I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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