Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
