i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Less talking, more tequila
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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