and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
