This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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