my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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