she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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