i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
