wanna go halves on a baby?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
