No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
