he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
