im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
