They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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