There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
