we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i out mim tonsoeep
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