FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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