Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
