Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
