Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
