He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
