Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
