im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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