I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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