it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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