Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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