If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it because I queefed?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
