Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize