im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I smell like Dick and happiness
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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