I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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