I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
